Revealing the Harry Potter fandom
by Darth Golondor
Summary: I'm so annoyed by all these overdone Harry Potter plots, so I decided to make a parody out of it. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Revealing the Harry Potter fandom**

 **I.: Dramione love story.**

"Hey Hermione, can I ask you something?" Ron tapped her on the shoulders. She yelped.

"Ahhh, Ronald, how could you?! Heeelp, he is sexually abusing me!" Hermione cried.

Right now Draco Malfoy stormed into the common room. "Hermy, honey, I will rescue you!" he cried while lifting Hermione up with his arms.

"Oh, Drakey, you are sooo hot. Save me from this abuser." Hermione moaned. And with that both of them stormed out of the common room.

Ron just looked after them bewildered. Shortly after that Ron's family and friends stormed in.

"Ron, how could you, sexually abusing Hermione!"

"You should be ashamed!"

"You are no son of mine!"

"You're disowned!"

"How could I be related to someone like you?!"

"Enjoy your life in hell!"

Everyone was shouting uncontrollably through the room. After a few minutes everyone calmed down and stormed out of the common room.

Only Ron was still standing there, totally flabbergasted at what he had just seen.

"Bloody hell, what has just happened?!"

* * *

 **II.: Harry and Ginny soul bond story.**

"Ginny, don't worry you're safe now." He had just killed the basilisk and Tom riddles diary.

"Oh Harry, thank you so much. I so love you and your sexy body."

"And I love you, despite you being just Ron's little sister who has creepily stalked me the whole time!"

"Let's get a soul bond!"

"Totally, Gin-Gin!"

Suddenly Ron stormed into the chamber. "Guys, oh I'm so glad I finally found you. Let's go before…" he stopped as he saw Harry and Ginny smooching each other's face off while moaning "Oh, we have such a soul bond." "Oh, Ginny, marry me!"

Ron just stood there flabbergasted. He rubbed his eyes. "Well, time to scratch out my eyes out." he concluded. Then he ran out of the chamber screaming.

* * *

 **III.: Harry Potter adoption story.**

The Weasley family, Sirius Black, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore stormed into the Dursley's house to see a five year old Harry Potter being abused by his uncle.

"Avada Kedavra." His uncle was dead.

"Oh, my Harry, you poor little boy, you must be terrified by those horrible muggls. I will give you the family you've never had." Mrs. Weasley gushed.

"Excuse me! I think I should be the one who adopt him as I'm his godfather!" Sirius cried.

"What, Potter is mine. He is going to be a Snape junior now! I have to teach him the secrets of always having greasy hair and being a social outcast!"

"No, Potter should come with me as I will teach him how to behave like a real gentlemen."

"Harry is mine, bitches! The great Dumbledore spoke!"

"He is mine!"

"No, mine!"

"No, mine!"

"No, mine!"

Harry stared nervously at the arguing crowd as they tried to fight for his adoption.

"Ummm, hello, get I to say something in this?" he asked so innocently as only a small child could.

"NOOOO!" everyone yelled.

Harry backed off from the crazy crowd. This was going to be long day.

* * *

 **IV.:** **Weasley Bashing story**

"Hey, mate how are you doing?" Ron asked Harry who was sitting at the fireplace.

"Ahhh, how could you scare me like that!" Harry cried.

"Well…"

"I hate you! I hate you and your family, despite them being the only family I've had, despite you being my best friend, despite Ginny being my awesome girlfriend, but I have a urge to hate you!"

"Uhh…"

"And you know what. The worst thing is that you are a ginger! You know what ginger are? Right! Soulless! Get away from me you monster!"

"…"

"This is it. I'm going to live with the Malfoys. They are much more nicer, despite them trying to kill me and Draco being a dick to me. At least they are not gingers!" And with that Harry left the common room.

Ron just stared bewildered after Harry, then he sighed. "Why is it always me who gets all the shit?"

* * *

 **V.: The Mary Sue**

"Hey, my name is Mary Sue." she introduced herself to the golden trio.

"Hey." Harry greeted. "I'm Harry, that's Hermione and that's Ron. So you're new here at Hogwarts?"

Mary flipped her hair. "Oh yeah, and let me tell you something about me. I'm so great. I'm good at sports, have musical talents, am nice and funny, so incredibly pretty…"

While she was saying this the golden trio was just looking at each other confused.

"Also I'm smart and popular. Yeah, everybody likes me. And I'm gonna go seduce you or the sexy Draco Malfoy and I'm going to be the forth member of your group. I'm so gonna now, that we all gonna be best friends." With that she bent forwards and engulfed the three of them into a hug. The golden trio just stared at her like she was a madwoman.

She broke up from the hug and winked at them. "You're all gonna love me." Then she flipped her hair again and went out of the compartment. Harry, Hermione and Ron just stared at her. Then Ron broke the silence.

"Let's ditch her, alright?"

Harry and Hermione just nodded, then they went back to their earlier conversation.

 **Bamm! Chapter done! I hope you like my parody of the overdone fanfic plots in Harry Potter. I so hate them. They are just sooo…argh! By the way, I love Harry/Ginny and Romione. I'm just so annoyed by all these soul bond stories. I haven't got all of them. So, guys, please give me some suggestions what I shall do next. I really hope you liked that. Please review. Have a nice day!**


	2. Chapter 2

**VI. Godlike Harry story**

Harry was just sitting in the common room being depressed. His family is dead, a dark lord wants kill him and he is everyone's topic. Suddenly he gets a growth spurt and gets a lot of muscles. He cries in happiness. Suddenly he can also perform magic that is stronger than then the Universes forces itself. He runs out of the common room. Every girl is getting unconscious by his appearance. They fight over him.

"He's mine!"

"No, mine!"

Harry grins, he feels like he is on the top of the world. Then he runs to all his enemies. He changes Snape's potion room into a rainbow paradies, turns Malfoy into a ferret and changes Umbridges clothing into black.

"Muhahaha!" he cries.

"Ahhh!" his enemies cry. "Have mercy!" But Harry just laughed and then runs to Voldemort.

"Harry Potter, so you've finally came to fight me?" Voldemort asked.

Harry grinned. "Yeah, and I brought company. Attack my friends!" Suddenly an army of unicorns and pegasi ran towards Voldemort with Harry crying: "Brony for eva!" While crying this he summoned a hurricane, a flying dragon, an army of skeleton and a thousands of mirrors, so Voldemort could die by looking at his reflection.

"Ahh, my eyes. I can't win against the mighty Harry Potter." he cried before he perished.

As Harry won, all his friends came by and cheered: "Potter, Potter!" Harry felt like he was the King of the Earth, the moment should never end…

"Harry, we found out the secrets of the Horcrux!" Ron and Hermione cried while storming into the common room. What they saw absolutely shocked them. Harry was playing with some puppets.

"Oh Harry, you are so awesome!" he said with the Ginny puppet.

"Uhh, your awesomeness defeated me." the Voldemort puppet cried.

Hermione and Ron just looked at each other bewildered, then they nodded at each other.

"Let's go get Madam Pomfrey."

* * *

 **VII. Marriage law**

"So after this law, we shall marry the person, the ministry chose for us."

"After this list I have to marry Parkinson, Hermione has to marry Malfoy and you have to marry Snape?" Ron asked.

Harry looked disgusted. "Well, it appears so."

Hermione sighed. "Well, let's get get through with this, I mean how bad can it be? I mean we just have to marry or worst enemies, get babies with them, live with them for ever and bear their endless insulting. I mean, it's not bad, am I right? Guys?"

Harry and Ron didn't listen to her anymore. They were looking at her in horror thinking about all the stuff she said and looking at her awkwardly.

Hermione laughed nervously. "I mean, it can't be that bad, right?"

 _20 years and 15 marriage laws later._

"Hey, I'm Rachel Road, I'm your…"

"Yeah, yeah, you're my new wife, please grab a number and get in the line." Ron pointed at the huge line behind him. The woman went their. Ron sighed. Ever since the marriage law came out, things went weird. At the beginning everyone was forced to marry a Death Eater. After several laws later, people decided everyone should marry one of the golden trio, so the population will only exist with good kids. Ron didn't even wanted to know who invented this rule.

"Hey, mate." Harry sat next to Ron wearing a colorful T-shirt, with a chicken hat and dungarees.

"Woah, mate, what happened to you?" Ron asked.

"Ugh, my stupid husband wanted me to dress like that." Harry answered.

"That sucks."

"I know, and you know what's the worst thing. Every time I get a husband and I'm not even GAY!"

Ron looked at Harry's T-shirt, then at his head. He coughed. "Well, you know, if you look at your choice of clothing…"

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

 **VIII. Snape/Hermione and Sirius/Hermione story**

"Oh, Granger, I must say you look very sexy today."

"Piss off, Snivellus, Hermione is mine!"

"Oh yeah, Black, you and what army?"

"My army of awesomeness!"

Hermione was looking between the two of them blushing. She didn't know how to response to this kind of attention.

"She's mine!"

"No, mine!"

In that moment Harry stormed in.

"HEY!" he cried. Sirius and Snape stopped their fighting to look at Harry.

"Look, Hermione is sixteen and you guys are adults. If you like her that would make you a pedophile and after Paragraph 75 of the British law **(I made that** **paragraph** **up)** and that is chargeable. And you would be in prison for molesting her for like ever."

Sirius and Snape looked at each other in horror, then at Harry.

"Uh oh."

 _A few hours later._

"Nooo, not Askaban again."

"Well, at least I have some quality time with Black now."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

 **IX. Time Travel story**

"We did it, we are back in the Maruders time!" Harry cried. Ron and Hermione were standing next to him.

Just then James and Lily came in. "Hey who are you?" James asked.

Harry grinned. "I'm your son from the future, this are my best friends Ron and Hermione." Then he explained the reason why he was here. After he finished he spotted himself as a baby. "And ohhh, is that me?" He pointed at the baby. He ran towards it and wrapped it into his arms.

"Ohh, I was soooo cute!"

James and Lily just stared at him dumbfounded. This was their son in the future? Surely this was a mistake. Lily coughed slightly.

"Well, if you are really our son, wouldn't that be kind of a paradox?"

The golden trio looked at her confused. "What are you talking about?" Ron asked.

"Well, if Harry really is here, so who is the real Harry, you or the baby? Besides, you came here to save us. But if you traveled back in time, that never happened. So where did you get the idea from? The only logical explanation is that you disturbed the space-time background and for that you actually have to perish, because you can't exist twice."

Harry just stared at his mother.

"Uh oh."

In the next second he disappeared. The others just stared dumbfounded at the place where Harry had been.

"Hehe, no worries, I mean everything will turn out alright like always, am I right?" Ron cheered up the others while laughing nervously.

 _A few weeks later_

 **Lord Voldemort now the ruler of the wizard world.**

 **He had defeated the Potter family and Dumbledore. His reaction to his victory: "Ha, noseless for the win! Voldy is on the top, bitches!"**

* * *

 **X. Harry Harem story**

Harry was lying on the couch in the common room when suddenly a lot of girls came in. He spotted Hermione, Ginny, Cho, Luna, Angelina, Katie, Lavender and many more.

"Hi, Harry." they cried.

"Don't you wanna have fun?" Ginny asked while taking off her shirt.

"Come on, big boy, we want to give you something." Cho said while wiggling her breasts.

"Come, on Harry, let us seduce you." Hermione moaned.

Harry felt like on cloud nine. He smirked cockily at the girls.

"With my pleasure." With that he took off his clothing. He was now naked. He then went to the girls who all embraced him. Now this was going to be fun.

In that moment Ron ran into the common room. "Hey, Harry check this out, this is the latest quidditsch…" He stopped when he saw Harry smooching of several pillows which were lying around him.

"Oh, yes girls, harder!" he moaned.

Ron just looked at this flabbergasted.

 _Poor Harry, he finally has lost his marbles._ He thought. Then he went out of the common room, scared for life.

 **Bamm, finished. I hope you guys liked this chapter. Poor Ron, he always gets the worst :). Please give me more suggestions and review. Wish you all a good day.**


	3. Chapter 3

**XI.: Ron cheats on Hermione story**

Ron was drinking already his sixth bottle of firewhiskey. Harry was sitting beside him and comforting him (well, at least he tried).

"So how did you and Hermione broke up again?" Harry asked.

Ron sighed. He was still upset about the break up. "Well, so it all started when went on a date…"

" _Hey, love." Ron said as he kissed her on the lips._

 _Hermione smiled. "Hey, how was your day?"_

 _Ron shrugged. "Okay, I guess. Had a lot of paperwork to do but it was not that bad."_

 _Hermione smiled at that. "Well, at least you're done with the paperwork."_

 _Ron smiled back. "Yeah…oh by the way, I've got you these." Ron held some purple flowers towards her._

 _Hermione gaped at him in shock. "Ron…are these Lavenders?"_

 _Ron looked at her confused. "Yeah, I thought you would like them."_

 _Tears were building up in Hermione's eyes. "You bastard, you are cheating on me with Lavender!" she screamed._

 _Ron's eyes widened. "What, no! These are just a present to you!"_

" _Spare me your excuses. Have fun with your new girlfriend. We're done!" And with that she stormed away. Ron just could stare after her bewildered._

After Ron told him the story, Harry facepalmed. "Seriously? Because you gave her Lavenders?"

Ron nodded. "Yeah, and the worst thing is that I wasted good money on it. I could have bought a new Chudley Channon poster for it." he said sighing while he drank his next bottle of firewhiskey.

* * *

 **XII.: Dumbledore bashing story:**

"Dumbledore I have enough of your meddling and secrets!" Harry cried.

Dumbledore held up his hands in defense. "Harry, calm down. It's just for your best."

Harry was fuming. "No, I've definitely enough! Avada Kedavra!" he cried. Dumbledore was dead.

Ron and Hermione looked at him in shock. "Are you crazy, Harry! You just killed off the greatest wizards of all time! We're going to lose the war without him!" Ron cried.

Harry winked him off. "Oh come on guys. We can win this war without the old bat. I mean how difficult can it be?"

 _A few months later_

"Avada Kedavra." Harry cried shooting a green light at Voldemort. The spell didn't affect him.

"Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort was still alive.

"Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra!" Every time Harry yelled the spell, the spell just bounced off from Voldemort's body.

"WTF?! How are you still alive?"

"Ohh, did Dumbledore didn't tell you that I have horcruxes that are keeping me alive? Oh, right, he's dead because you killed him." Voldemort mocked at Harry. Harry's eyes widened in horror as he realized his mistake.

"Let me show you how it's really done." Voldemort said smirking.

"Avada Kedavra!" he cried. Harry was dead. And so the dark side won. From this day everyone wore black robes and must eat cookies at every meal, so their teeth became rotted.

* * *

 **XIII.:** Ginny Bashing story

Once upon a time, there was girl named Ginny. She was a huge bitch. But somehow everyone loved her. She was popular, good at sports, funny, fiery and good looking. And she was a whore. She had sex with everyone in Hogwarts, even with their own brothers. One day everyone saw her true face as she gave Harry love potions so he would love her forever, and they despised her for it. She was banned from Hogwarts for all time and died a cruel fate. Fin. Muhahaha

The Ginny basher **(Let's call her Anna (sorry for all whose name's is Anna))** grinned as she told me **(yeah it's me)** the story. I just shook my head.

"Seriously, I've have read a lot of bad fanfics, but this was the worst."

Anna crossed her arms, glaring at me. "Oh yeah. How come. Everything I stated is the truth."

I rolled my eyes. "You're blinded by truth Anna. Ginny is not like that. You say she became a Mary Sue after she was so shy the first four books, but think about that way. The books were written in Harry's point of view. And Ginny was shy around Harry before she changed in the fifth book. For all we know she may be already like this before, but just not around Harry. Besides, there are really some people in this world who are good at many things and I think it is sexism if you say you hate Ginny because she is good at sports. And Ginny didn't steal or brainwashed Harry. He fell in love with her on his own. I mean not every relationship builds up from a friendship like Ron and Hermione. I find Harry's and Ginny's relationship realistic. And if you wanna say that movie Ginny was terrible, well yeah, I agree with you, but we are talking about book Ginny. So yeah, none of your points are reasonable." I explained to her.

She just looked at me with wide eyes and flushed as she heard my long explanation. "Well, whatever, you can't stop me from writing these stories." She said while huffing.

I smirked at her. "Oh, I can't, but she can." I pointed to the door where Ginny was standing. She was giving Anna a death glare that could melt metal.

Anna gulped. "Hey, Ginny, how are you?" she asked innocently.

Ginny just balled her hand into a fist. "You and I, my friend are going to have a long discussion about me."

And with that she stormed at Anna shooting hexes at her. Anna shouted while running from Ginny. I just stood there watching the whole scene amusingly. Yep, that's what you get for bashing characters.

* * *

 **XIV.: Snape/Harry story:**

"Wait a minute, you were in love with my mother?"

"Yeah, I hope this doesn't ruin our relationship."

"Ahaha…no…why would you think that?" Harry laughed nervously.

 _A few months later_

"Meet your destiny Harry Potter." Voldemort said as he raised his wand.

 _Snape was in love in my mother._ Harry thought. He didn't notice that Voldemort was raising his wand. He was too focused on this thought.

 _Snape was in love in my mother. OMG Snape was in love in my mother. That does mean that he just loves me, because I have her eyes._

"Prepare to die."

 _And if we actually have kids per magic, they will have my eyes too and he will fall in love with them Ahhh, I fall in love with a psychopath!_

"Today is the day the mighty dark lord shall finally win whereas thee poor boy Harry Potter will perish."

 _OH MY GOD! MY LIFE IS RUINED! I CAN'T ESCAPE! I MUST KILL MYSELF! IT IS THE ONLY WAY OUT OF THIS!_

Harry raised his wand.

"Finally you will die at my hands…wait a minute, what are you doing with the wand…STOP IT!"

But it was too late. Harry had Avada Kedavrad himself and was dead.

The Death Eater stared at the scene in shock, then Voldemort began to cry.

"NOOO, WHY?! IT SHOULD BE ME WHO SHOULD HAVE KILLED HIM! EVEN NOW POTTER IS RUINING MY PLANES!"

Bellatrix was approaching him carefully. "My lord, please calm down…"

"I WON'T CALM DOWN! THE POTTER BOY HAS RUINED ONE OF MY PLANS AGAIN! I WANT MY MOMMY! I WANT MY TEDDY BEAR! I WANT COOKIES! IT IS NOT FAIR! WAHHHH!" Voldemort cried like a little baby.

The other Death Eater rubbed their backs uncomfortably. Then Lucius spoke up:

"So anyone of you wanna join the light sight?"

"I thought you would never ask." Bellatrix said and so all Death Eaters switched the side. And that was the story how the dark lord was defeated.

* * *

 **XV.: Scorpius meets Ron story**

"So you are the boyfriend of my daughter?" Ron asked Scorpius.

Scorpius gulped. He knew that Rose's father was very protective of her. And that he hated his father, but meeting him in reality was far worse than in his imaginary.

"Yes, sir."

Ron looked at him intensively. Scorpius already thought that his looks were drilling a huge hole into his eyes.

"And you love her?"

"Yes, sir, with all my life." Scorpius said truthfully.

"And you don't agree with your fathers opinions." Ron asked sceptically.

"No, sir. His prejudices are horrible."

Ron glared at him. "Well, then you know what I have to do now." he said darkly while approaching Scorpius.

Scorpius stared at him in shock. Then he began to wail.

"NO PLEASE DON'T KILL ME MR. WEASLEY. I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE."

Ron stared at him in shock. "What are you talking about Scorpius. I was gonna say that I approve of your relationship with Rose. I think you're a good lad."

"AHH WHAT I'VE DONE TO DESERVE THIS?! WAS IT BECAUSE I STILL OWN A TEDDY BEAR OR BECAUSE I LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER!"

"Scorpius…" Ron tried to calm him down. Without success.

"OR WAS IT BECAUSE I WATCH MY LITTLE PONY?! I SWEAR I WILL STOP. BUT PLEASE LET ME LIVE! I STILL WANNA HAVE A LIFE! I DON'T WANNA DIE!"

Ron facepalmed at the boy's wailing in front of him. This was gonna be a long day.

 **Yes finally finished. Thank you for all your suggestions. You really helped me. I think I've covered most of your parts that you wished. I personally don't like Dumbledore that much, but without him they would have never won the war. I would have liked it better if h told Harry the truth after the fifth book at least, but hey if had done that, then the sixth and seventh book probably would have never existed. I also explained the Ginny bashing thing. To me Ginny is a awesome Character. I don't understand the hate she and Ron gets. I personally think that if you bash a character than you no better than the character you bash or even worse, because it does show that you can be easily annoyed and have a short temper and you need to release the anger on other characters. Not cool. Well, I hope you liked it. Please review it and give me more suggestions. Please more silly plot lines and less shipping thing, because shipping is just to general. Have a nice day.**


	4. Chapter 4

**XVI. Ron Bashing story:**

 _Once there was a boy named Ronald Weaselbee. He was a happy young boy, had a great family and great friends. But he wanted more. He wanted power. So he pretended to be Harry Potter's best friend to gain his money. One day he saw Potter and muggleborn best friend Hermione snogging._

" _What the fuck, Potter? You steal my girlfriend?" he shouted._

" _Fuck off Weasley, she's not your girlfriend. Hermione choose who she wants to be." Harry retorted._

" _No, you will now give me your money, fame and girlfriend. They are mine!" he shouted like the madman he was._

 _Harry didn't listen to him anymore but just blown him into hundreds of pieces with his wand. He then used the pieces as firewood. "I never liked him anyway. He was stupid, always think of eating and is fat." Then he went off with his girlfriend, chose Draco Malfoy as his new best friends and had a happy life._

 _The end._

Malfoy grinned at me as he finished read his story. It was so ridiculous that I wasn't even mad at him for that. It was just pathetic.

"So, did you liked my story Weasley?" he asked cockily.

I glared at him. "Shut up, Malfoy. Those thing you mentioned will never happen. I have great friends and a great family, like you said. Why need fame or money? And you as Harry's best friend? Not even in your dreams, Malfoy." Sure I was sometimes jealous of Harry, but I would never use him and hurt him and if he hooks off with Hermione, well, then I guess I will be happy for him. It's my fault then if I didn't got the guts to ask her out.

"Because you are stupid Weasley. That's it." Malfoy said. I rolled my eyes. Was this all he could say?

"Say, Malfoy, why are you even writing stories about me? You are not secretly in love with me aren't you?" I asked smugly. Malfoy's jaw dropped as he heard my words. I laughed at his stupid face. Normally I would want to punch him, being the hothead I am, but like I said, the story was so ridiculous that it wasn't even insulting anymore.

Malfoy gave me a death glare. "You will pay for this, Weasley. My father will hear about this." he cried with his usual catchphrase. I wanted to punch him, but then thought of another idea. I took my wand and whispered: "Oppugno." Birds went attaking Malfoy and after that I gave him the bat-bogey-hex. Good thing that Ginny taught me that last summer. I saw how Malfoy ran away shouting with birds and bats attacking him. I grinned. Who needs stories, if you have a wand.

* * *

 **XVII. Harry Potter twin sister story:**

" _Okay, so Lily and James are dead. What are we going to do with their children."_

" _I would say we separate them and then unite them on their eleventh birthday. So they'll be safe from dangers."_

" _Sounds like a good idea, Albus. That's how we will do it."_

 _ **18 years later.**_

"So you mean to tell me, you separated us to protect us." Harry asked Dumbledore's portrait.

Dumbledore smiled. "Yes, Harry, and I must say it worked."

Charlotte (Harry's sister) widened her eyes in disbelief. "Worked? WORKED?! WHAT ABOUT THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE? WHAT ABOUT THE CHAMBER? THE TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT? THE BATTLE IN THE MINISTRY? THE FINAL BATTLE OF HOGWARTS?! YOU MEAN THOSE WEREN'T DANGERS?! YOU TOOK US TEN YEARS OF OUR LIVES!" she shouted enraged.

Dumbledore shrugged. "Hey, at least you are alive. And don't ask me. Ask the fanfiction writers. They are responsible for this. Now, if you excuse me. I have something important to do with Severus." And with that he went away.

Harry and Charlotte looked at each other in disbelief. Then they said simultaneously: "WHAT IN HELL ARE FANFICTON WRITERS?!"

 **(Note: Some of the Twin sister stories separate the twins without any reasonable explanation. I know this parody is lame, but I couldn't think of something better, so enjoy :) )**

* * *

 **XVIII.: Hermione adopted by Death Eaters or her real parents are Death Eaters.**

Error 404: Story not found. Windows is shutting down because of a paradoxic content.

There are things on the world that are not working. Dividing through zero is one thing. Saying you are sleeping although you are not is another thing. Also Pinocchio saying that his nose is growing although he is not doing it. And another thing is a Death Eater adopting a muggleborn and still stay a Death Eater (that means her adoptive parents do not quit their job). That's similar to a Nazi adopting a Jew. I think we all know what could have happened if that kind of thing really happened. So try not to write stories that will crash the whole universe **(just saying ;) )**

* * *

 **XIX. Character Bashing story:**

"I so hate this character. I'm going to write so many bashing stories about him/her, that this character will die in shame and everybody will hate him!"

 _ **One year later.**_

"Hey, dude. You're alright? You haven't came out of your room for days."

The basher turned his head towards me. His eyes were blood red as if hadn't slept for days. Also he had a huge beard now. He stared at me with disgust.

"You! You are here to stop me! To say that the character I bash is good, right? But listen here! You can't stop me! I'm going to make his/her life miserable! Miserable! He/she is going to painfully die under my hand and regret all things they have ever done! He/she isn't good. He/she is the worst character ever!" he shouted.

I stared at him in. I was used that he was a little bit crazy, but I never saw him that intense.

"Dude, calm down. You are going crazy and being paranoid. It's just a fictional character. What's the point of making him/her bad, if he/she doesn't know about this. Besides, all characters are three-dimensional. You are ruining the story by making the character one-dimensioned. And why would you write stories about someone you hate? I would write something about someone I love and not hate."

I hoped he would calm down, but he just went even more crazy.

"You just want to ruin my art! But let me say something to you, nobody can!" And with that he threw me out of his room. I looked at the door in shock, then I shook my head and went away.

"Poor guy. Obsessed with character bashing. All these had made him paranoid."

* * *

 **XX. Characters reading fanfiction on the Internet.**

 _Harry, Hermione and Ron were sitting at the Computer and searching for stuff. Then they discovered fanfiction. After they read stories about themselves they were shocked. They cried, wailed and were traumatized. After a while they stopped._

" _Say guys, does that mean, we are fictional characters and everything we are doing now is controlled by an author?" Harry asked. The two of them didn't answer. Instead they looked at an invisible screen as if they expected that an invisible audience would answer to them._

" _That means my life is controlled by a madman? Noooo!"_

 _Ron took his wand and wanted to Avada Kedvra himself to escape his cruel fate, but his wand flew into the air and disappeared._

" _Damn it, you author! Throw the CHEEESE!_ **(ASDF reference :D if you know what I mean).** _" he cried as he threw cheese, that magically appeared next to him, into the air. Harry just stared at the action. Does that mean that everything was controlled by the authors, even Ron's suicide attempt? His head was going to explode. Then suddenly the whole floor was littered with pineapples_ **(Again ASDF!)** _. Harry facepalmed, he didn't wanted to know._

 _They searched for another stuff and suddenly found out that the Internet was only invented four years ago and that it would that Wikipedia and Google would be invented in two years. And fanfiction also in two years. They looked at each other in shock. How did they then get those stories and information?_

 _Before they could answer any question, the world exploded into pieces._

I looked at my story grinning. This was definitely going to win an award. I've reread my story again proudly. After I finished, I just stared at the screen. For a moment I was paralyzed. Then…

*Delete…delete…delete*

 **Yeah, finally finished the chapter. I think this was my weakest chapter of all, because my idea weren't that awesome anymore. I'm sorry if I disappointed you guys. Well, I hope still you liked it. It will be probably my last chapter as I don't what to write any more. Maybe if you can give me some more suggestions, I would write a little bit more. I hope I didn't offend anyone by making fun of character bashing. I wasn't trying to offend anybody just pointing out that character bashing is pointless. And if I did offend someone, then please forgive me. I wasn't my intention. Please review it. I really hope you liked the whole story. Thank you so much for all of those who gave me a review or liked my story. You guys are awesome. You can read my other stories, if you like. Enjoy the world of fanfiction.**

 **Your DWGolondor**


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